Fable the Hedgehog
by Midi the Squirrel
Summary: What would happen if the characters from Shadow the Hedgehog got stuck in Albion? Read on to find out!


Fable the Hedgehog

Oakvale, Early Morning

"Shadow? Shadow! Wake up already!" Gerald was shaking the hedgehog.

Shadow's eyes opened up slowly, and he yawned. He was day dreaming... again.

"Shadow?" Gerald said to him. Shadow looked up at him. "You do know what today is right? It's Maria's birthday! I hope you haven't forgotten her this year too."

Shadow shook his head. "No, I haven't. I just don't have the money for a gift for Maria."

Gerald chuckled. "Well in that case, how about this: you go out and do some favors for the townspeople. I'll pay you one gold piece for every good deed you do."

Shadow shrugged. "Well, it sounds a bit strange, but OK."

"STRANGE?" Gerald leaned back. "It's the best bloody deal you're gonna get, you little prick! Right, piss off. Maria's waiting."

Shadow raised an eyebrow, then shook his head, and left. As he walked down the path, he saw a little grill, I mean, girl who was crying in front of her house. "Hey, what's wrong with you?"

The little girl looked up. "Oh, Shadow. It's just awful! Rosie, my teddy bear, was supposed to have her stuffing changed today. But I can't find her anywhere at all!"

"Gee, I know how that feels." Shadow tried to calm her down. "One time, I had this lizard, but when I tried to change his stuffing, he ran away, and I never saw him again."

The girl's eyes widened. "You did what?"

Shadow averted his gaze. "Er, I mean, umm..." He looked back at her. "I'm gonna go look for Rosie now, OK?" And with that, Shadow went to look for Rosie.

Along the way into town, Shadow met the shopkeeper's wife in front of the shop. "Why that swine! He's gone off with another woman again! Oh, Shadow!"

Shadow looked up at her. "Hello ma'am. You look upset."

"I am! That filthy pig I call a husband's hiding from me. Have you seen him dear?"

Shadow nodded. "At least I think I did. There was a guy behind the big house up the road making ou with some chick."

"That must have been him. Thank you, Shadow. I'm gonna chop 'is chops off!" She ran off up the hill, and dissappeared from sight.

Shadow continued his search for Rosie. Next to the bridge, he saw a kid with a ski cap picking on some poor little kid. 'That's funny.' He thought. 'Ski caps aren't even supposed to exist yet. How'd he get one?' He shook the thought off, and went up to see what was happening.

"You stupid little idiot! I told you give me back my sister's bear!" The capped boy was hitting the smaller kid.

Without even waiting for the little one to ask, Shadow skated (he has his skates?) up to the bully and began beating the (insert witty synonym for poo here) out of him.

"Alright! I'm sorry! I won't do it again, I promise!" The kid ran of faster than Shadow could skate (seriously, where'd he get the skates from?).

The little boy went to Shadow. "Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooo mucha-lucha! Here, I'll let you look after Wosie. She'll be safe with out you-- I mean, with you." He handed Shadow the bear.

'Yeah, safe as my lizard. Where is he anyway?' Shadow curled into a ball, spun at high speed, and returned to Gerald for his money.

"Well, well, well, Shadow. Well, well, well, Shadow. Well, well, well, Shadow. Well, well, well, Shadow. Well, well, well, Shadow. Well, well, well, Shadow. You did your three good deeds. I will pay you some money now to get a gift for well, well, well, Shadow, Maria." Gerald handed Shadow three golds and walked away. "Well, well, well, Shadow. Well, well, well, Shadow."

Shadow raised his eyebrow. Then he skated down the hill to the merchant who was wandering the streets aimlessly, rather than selling stuff.

"Well, well, well, Shadow. Looks to me that it's your sister's (or whatever's) birthday. I just happen to have some very interesting 'magic pills' here with me that are guarenteed to put a smile on her face."

"Magic pills? I thought you were selling chocolate." Shadow pointed at the box.

The trader studdered a bit. "Why, y-y-yes, it is! Heh, heh. There are no pills here, nope, none at all. Just three gold, and the chocolate's yours. Then you can go and forget that I ever mentioned pills. Well, well, well, Shadow."

Shadow handed him the money without saying a word. Then he took the candy and sped off. He found Maria in the fields next to the gate marked TO OVERWORLD. "Freaky RPG signs."

Maria greeted Shadow. "Well, well, well, Shadow. You brought me chocolate (though I was hoping for magic pills). Thank you so much (you ungrateful prick). Let's play a game (of pluck the quills off the hedgehog)." She and shadow went to play when they heard a sound.

A man came running through the TO OVERWORLD gate shouting. "Bandits! Bandits are coming!"

"I wonder what's going on?" said Maria.

The man stopped. "It means a group of bandits are coming into the village to plunder our goods, slice off our limbs, gut us with wooden spoons, and kick our chickens! Clear enough now?" Suddenly, an arrow shot into his head, went through his ear, and out the other side. "I'm OK!" Then one struck him in the heart. "Ha! I have no heart! I'm a lawyer, biatch!" Then it hit him in the groin. "Never had balls!" Finally, a big rock just fell on him. "No spine!" Then the rock exploded into a huge fireball. Now he's gone. "Am not!" Yes you are, I'm writing you out! "You can't do that!" Then he vanished into thin air and was never heard from again huff, huff.

Shadow and Maria hid behind a pole. None of the bandits saw them as they ran by and destroyed the more well-hidden stuff.

Shadow looked out as everything he had loved was burned before him. Then he realized that Maria had also vanished. "Maria? Where'd she go to? I must check on Gerald." He blasted through the debris, got to his house in under ten seconds, and tripped over Geralds dead, singed corpse. "No! Gerald! I need to know where Maria is, and about the lawyer who can't die!"

Then a bandit came charging at him, only to be blown into hundreds of smoldering bits. A large man with glow-in-the-dark paint on his face approached Shadow. "Well, well, well, Shadow. It's not safe here. You must come with me if you don't want to end up like them." He held out his hand, and Shadow took it. Then, in a sphere of white light, they teleported away from Oakvale, and landed next to the TO OVERWORLD sign. "Damn." the glowy man said. "I though we would land somewhere farther. What are you doing?"

Shadow was tossing his cookies.

"Come on boy. I thought you'd have a stronger stomach that that."

Shadow looked up, and wiped some goop off his muzzle. "Half his face was missing, you stupid--" He tried to hit the man, but missed.

"Enough. You may not realize it, but I just saved your liver, er, life. Now come with me, and we'll try the spell again." He took Shadow's paw, and another sphere off light carried them off.

Lookout Point, Late Evening

"That's the Hero's Guild, down there. And just so you know, my name is Maze." Maze led Shadow down a hill.

"Maze?" Shadow asked. "You mean like, lost? Is that why you can ever teleport to the right place?"

"Yes I can!" Maze said indignantly. "I got us here, didn't I?"

Hero's Guild, Same Time

"Guildmaster? Are you here?"

Shadow saw an average height, bald guy enter the main room. "Guildmaster?"

"Yes." the bald man said. "Dennis Guildmaster, at your service."

Maze move Shadow foreward. "I have a new pupil for you, Guildmaster."

"My eyes aren't that bad!" said the Guildmaster. "And call me Dennis."

"I meant the hedgehog."

"Oh, great, another Furry?" Dennis looked at Shadow. "Well, well, well, Shadow. I'm glad to meet you." They shook hands. "You'll be sharing the second room upstairs with Tails. He's a kitsune, so you should get along fine."

Shadow went upstairs to his room, found a bed, and went to sleeeeeeeee... sorry, to sleep.

Same Place, Mid Morning

"Wake up! WAKE UP!"

Shadow woke up to the sight of a fuzzy, white muzzle in his face. He nearly peed himself. "Who are you?"

"I'm Tails!" The yellow fox held up his two tails. "You must be Shadow, right?"

Shadow nodded.

"Well, wel--" Before Tails could finish, he was up against the wall with an impression of a fist between his eyes.

Shadow followed Tails down to the training grounds. Or, at least, most of the way. He had stopped at the pub that had for some reason been built right into the guild hall. "Just gimme the beer! I might look like a kid, but I'm a 42-year-old investment banker! I wanna get DRUNK!"

Before the barkeep could argue, Tails raced in, and dragged Shadow off.

"HELP! He's a carnivore! Get him off!"

Some kicking and screaming later, they reached Dennis. "It's about time you too... to... tu...(I give up) got out of bed. It's time for your melee training. Shadow, go punch that dummy over there."

Shadow entered the ring, approached the dummy, and puched it. Might I say, his hand was hurtin'! "OW! What's this dummy made of?"

"Copper wool. Here, use this stick." Dennis tossed him a stick.

Shadow lit it, and blew the dummy into Oblivion. Honestly, what kind of stick were you thinking of? A wooden one? I should say NOT!

"Well done, Shadow. Can I call you Shade for short?"

"No you can't call me 'Shadeforshort'! Just say Shadow, it's shorter!"

Dennis raised an eyebrow, then ushered Tails into the ring. At that moment, a blue hedgehog appeared. "Ah, Sonic. Come to check up on Tails's's's's's progress?"

"You could say that, but I'd also like to see the new kid."

"I already went." said Shadow.

Tails went up to the second dummy, took a stance, and jumped onto its head, and tore it off with his teeth. Then he grabbed its body, and ripped it limb from limb.

"Yeah, Tails!" Sonic shouted. "Smash 'em up!"

At those words, Shadow felt something in him awaken... something evilllll. Y'know, really badzorz!

I wouldn't have wanted to be Sonic there, because by saying, "Smash 'em up," he doomed himself to a most painfull death, which you will later witness.

Graduation Day, Several Years Later

Shadow woke up early(SsUuRrPpRrIiSsEe!1) for his final test with Maze. They met in the Guild woods, next to a place where just a few years ago, Shadow had brutally owned a group of bandits.

"Welcome, Shadow. I hope your ready for this. This will be your most difficult test of all. Here, you'll need this." Maze handed Shadow a #2 pencil.

"What's this for? Is it a written test?"

"No. You'll be fighting me with that."

Shadow raised an eyebrow at the pencil, then took a fighting stance. He lunged foreward, and thrust the pencil into Maze.

Maze recoiled, and retalliated with a spell that sent Shadow reeling past the creek.

Shadow quickly got up and flung the pencil at Maze. It jammed right into his 


End file.
